Ever have a nightmare you can never wake up from?
Here’s mine.
I dreamt I wasn’t feeling good. So, I went to the doctor. I said, “Doc, I feel run down and achy.”
He said to me: “My doctor grabbed me by the wallet and said, ‘Cough’”.
I was confused.
“No, I feel like I got the flu or something.”
And he said, “I’m making a Jewish porno film. 10% sex and 90% guilt.”
Next, I’m still dreaming, but I am at my lawyer’s office.
“I am being sued,” I told him, “I need you to take my case.”
He said, “A girl phoned me the other day and said, ‘Come on over, there’s nobody home.” I went over. Nobody was home”
“What does that mean?” I asked.
He said, “I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.”
Then my dream takes me to my accountant’s office.
“How come I have no deductions?” I asked him.
He said, “I just broke up with my girlfriend. The reason we broke up is I caught her lying … under another man.”
Suddenly I woke up. So, I decided to turn on some cable news. Sean Hannity was on.
“Under President Obama,” he said, “8.3 million fewer Americans are working today than there were four years ago.”
I changed the channel to MSNBC. It was a promotion for the Lawrence O’Donnell show. Lawrence is talking about his Dad on the GI Bill.
“And yet the critics called it welfare.”
That’s when I wondered. Do I wake or do I sleep?
Apologies to Henny Youngman, Rodney Dangerfield, and Doug Benson.
Answer this: why would you get important life-saving, job-keeping information from an entertainer?
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