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My News Media Nightmare

by John on 02/01/2013

 

Ever have a nightmare you can never wake up from?

Here’s mine.

I dreamt I wasn’t feeling good.  So, I went to the doctor.  I said, “Doc, I feel run down and achy.”

He said to me: “My doctor grabbed me by the wallet and said, ‘Cough’”.

I was confused.

“No, I feel like I got the flu or something.”

And he said, “I’m making a Jewish porno film.  10% sex and 90% guilt.”

Next, I’m still dreaming, but I am at my lawyer’s office.

“I am being sued,” I told him, “I need you to take my case.”

He said, “A girl phoned me the other day and said, ‘Come on over, there’s nobody home.” I went over.  Nobody was home”

“What does that mean?” I asked.

He said, “I could tell my parents hated me.  My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.”

Then my dream takes me to my accountant’s office.

“How come I have no deductions?” I asked him.

He said, “I just broke up with my girlfriend.  The reason we broke up is I caught her lying … under another man.”

Suddenly I woke up.  So, I decided to turn on some cable news.  Sean Hannity was on.

“Under President Obama,” he said, “8.3 million fewer Americans are working today than there were four years ago.”

I changed the channel to MSNBC.  It was a promotion for the Lawrence O’Donnell show.  Lawrence is talking about his Dad on the GI Bill.

“And yet the critics called it welfare.”

That’s when I wondered.  Do I wake or do I sleep?

Apologies to Henny Youngman, Rodney Dangerfield, and Doug Benson.

Answer this: why would you get important life-saving, job-keeping information from an entertainer?

 

 

 

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