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My Congress Business Model: Or How To Screw My Clients

by John on 12/28/2012

 

So, I am unveiling a new business model for John Daly TV, my business.  This plan is new for me – and many of you – but it has worked brilliantly in the past.

Let me explain it.

Let’s say you are my prospective client.  I am going to provide to you these services: spokesperson; and video production.  In short, I will market you with videos and my on-camera expertise so you get a ton of clients.

After all, this business is your legacy.  It’s what you believe in.  It’s who you are.

Here’s how I will take care of you and your business:

  • First, I will make you sign a contract that provides me with a huge salary and expense account that I can use at my discretion.
  • Second, the contract will state that I will promise to work for you full-time at least 40 hours a week.
  • Third, the contract will say that I work for you exclusively; you can’t hire anyone else to do what I do.
  • Fourth, the contract is open ended for me.  Only I can decide if I want to end the deal.

Here’s what happens the minute you sign my contact:

  • Five wealthy friends of mine will call you and tell you what a great job I am doing for you and how fortunately you are to have me.
  • Then your accounting books will show that these five friends of mine are now being paid a handsome sum of money to provide services – through me – for your business.

About two weeks into the contract:

  • I will take a trip to some warm place for a conference or retreat with my five well-paid friends.  I will assure you the trip is for your benefit.
  • You will notice videos from your competitors appearing all over the place with me as their spokesperson while promoting my five now very well-paid friends.  I will assure you that whatever money I make is helping you and your business. 

About a month into the contract, you will hear these things from your clients about the videos I have produced:

  • Some will wonder why I am promoting my friends’ businesses and not your business.
  • Others will stop using you or believing in you and your work.

I am calling this my Congressional Plan.

What do you mean it won’t work?  What do you mean no one would hire me?

You’re wrong.  It has worked for our elected officials for decades.

Happy Fiscal Cliff.

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